Sweat Blazing Desire
by Mythdefied
Summary: A parody of some writing styles within the genre. (Slash insinuated, Cupid&Strife, Ares&Iolaus.)


General Comments: Repeat after me folks: parody. Say it with me now: P-A-R-O-D-Y. You might also call this satire, as it is most definitely poking fun at certain styles within the fandom. However, all is meant to be taken with a light heart. 

Warnings: Utter crap ahead. Watch where you step. 

Disclaimers: Diabetics might want to have an insulin shot handy when they read this. 

Archive: ff.net, my site.   


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Sweat Blazing Desire   
by Erin   
May 9, 2000   
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Ares was board. Their was wars being fought all over Grease but he just couldn't seam to get interested in them, actually he'd known what the problem was for a long time, he was not interested in being the God of War anymore. Looking back on it, he new he had felt this way four years. Zues had forced this job on him when all he'd ever wanted was two find someone to love him, someone he could love back and they could bee happy together, living in blissfull piece and harmony for all eternity.... 

Suddenly the reluctant War God was startled out of his brooding revere by a brilliant yet subtle blinding flash of pale blue light with little sparkles which faded to reveal his nephew the God of Mischief who looked absolutely radient and really happy too. "I have some _really_ great news Unc!!!" Strife exclaimed in a jubillant tone as his smile seemed too light up the temple and chased away the long oppressive shadows and bringing with it a sents of overwhelming joy. "What is it?" Ares asked anxiously as he hopped out of his thrown. 

"I'm *pregnate*!!" The young god exclaimed excstatically his smile brightening impossibly further and Ares couldn't help but respond to the wonderful news. He had to act like a big bad War God to the outside world but here with his family -- since they were all so close and loving -- he could be himseld. "Im so..._happy_ for you!" He said passionately and rushed to embrace his nephew with tears in his eyes. "If only you had someone to love as much as me and Cupid love each other." Strife said mournfully. "Dont...don't worry about it." Ares replied. "All that matters to me is that your happy." Hugging each other they began crying from shear happiness. 

Suddenly the temple doors erupted inwards and Iolaus came stampeding in to the temple tears streaking down his shockingly pale face but not tears of happiness like Aries and Strife were crying but tears of fear and presentiment. "Ares!!!!" He sobbed brokenly as he came crashing to a halt at the alter, gasping for breathe like a dog expiring in the mid-summer heat. "I know ewe tried to kill me lots of times in the past...but I also know you're really nice and sweat so I can trust you to help me." "Of course you can trust me Eyolas." Ares said comfortingly as he folded him in to a friendly embrace to calm him down and get him to stop crying. "All these big warlords R after me and Hercules isn't here to protect me!" The Golden Hunter -- although he was still really pail from shock -- whaled miserably. "Herc stopped to tie his shoo and you know how long it takes him when he has to think deep like that, and I wandered off to pick him some flowers and then these warlords showed up and I couldn't fight them so." 

"I can't believe Uncle Herc left you alone like that." Stirfe cut in, his tears of happiness now turned to tears of outrage at the beautiful blond Hunters' abandonment. "He doesnt deserve you." Ares agreeed his grip tightening on the fragil mortal. "I--I never told you this Iolaus but I've always wanted you but I love my brother too much to take you away from him I don't want to cause him that much pain." 

"What?" Iolaus frowned in befuddlement. "Take me away from him? Did you mean...you thought....we were...*lovers*?!!" He whispered the word as a blush krept up his beautius face. Aries nodded and Iolaus smiled. "Gosh, Hercules and me are justreally good friends. I thought you knew Ares...I--I--its ewe I have always loved." Iolaus looked away in embarrassment but once the confession came out he found he couldn't stop and the rest poured out like the draining of a sewage ditch after a really bad storm. "I no Herc resents you so I could never say it out loud but I've always longed for you deep in my hart. I've pinned for you knight and day and I know you don't feel the same way but I." 

"I do feel the same way Ioluas!!!!" Ares said in ecstatic wonderment. "I don't just want you I love you to! I just never dreamed that you could love me back!" Tears burgeoning inn his limped blue eyes Iolasu gazed up at Ares in rapt adoration. "All this time we've been wanting each other and we never knew it! We've wasted so much tyme!" 

"But now we've found each other and we can start to live life the way it was ment to be!" The War God said ardently. "We'll get married and have lots of children together!" "Yes!" Iolaus agreed fervently, fresh tears of rapture springing up in his sky-blue orbs. 

"This is so great!" Strife uttered joyusly. "Cupid and I were getting married anyway and now we can have a double wedding!" 

"It's perfect." Aries whispered in ecstasy, his eyes litterally rivited on Iolaus face. 

"Anything with you is perfect." Iolas cooed in response. "I love you, Ares. Forever." 

"Forever my love." Ares responded in exaltation then there lips met and they consumated thier love in a blaze of all-consuming burning passion. 

Fin   
(Thank the gods)   
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© 1998-2003, Erin. 


End file.
